Dissociation is the Shadow of Trancendence
Alright so before I start this video, um, I just wanna say this is probably gonna be a hard watch for a lot of people. And the reason that this is gonna be a hard watch, um, kudos to you for even clicking on it because your brain and your body is most likely going to send you massive invitations of fear and contraction telling you to click off of this video and to not hear this information because Eckhart Tolle, when he talks about the pain body or David Bingham, when he talks about the the demi urge, they're actually very much right.
Um, when they talk about how these negative energies, these fear-based energies. They actually have a mind of their own. They have a kind of external intelligence, which is constantly scanning the environment. And the negative energies, all they care about is survival, and they will do absolutely everything they can to prevent you from hearing knowledge, which will jeopardize the survival of the negative entity. The negative entity, the negative energies they want to stay alive. And so they will do everything they can to get you to not see the light, to get you to not take in information, um, which would jeopardize the, the survival of the shadow. The shadow, it perceives the light as danger, and so it fears the light. And so it does everything it can to get you to avoid the light.
Um, but so the topic of this video is that dissociation is the shadow of transcendence. And to understand what this means, you first have to understand what dissociation is. And dissociation is such an unbelievably misunderstood and misinterpreted word, largely because this understanding is one of the biggest threats to the shadow.
The collective shadow does not want this information to come out because it means, it means death to the shadow. It it means emergence of the light and restoration of of the soul and of of divinity. Um, but so when people first hear the word dissociation. It sounds like this very kind of crazy, scary, like almost psychotic word that only happens to people that are like in very, extremely low levels, like very, very bad low states.
Like we think that dissociation is this extremely crazy thing that only happens to certain people, but this is not what dissociation means. You have to understand that every single human being on this planet, everyone, even the great masters to varying levels are all dissociated. The great masters, the, the more enlightened or awake you are the less dissociated you are. But there's no ending to the refinement.
There's no ending to the transformation of unconscious to conscious. It just keeps going on subtler and subtler levels. And so everybody is dissociated to varying degrees, um, and really at its most basic, fundamental level dissociation is just another word for unconsciousness. Dissociation. It's the kind of verb or active word of being unconscious.
And so as you become more spiritually awake you become less dissociated because dissociation, it's, it's caused by the, the mental barriers, the mental layers of disintegration, which create fogginess, which create, um, distortions. They, they create hazy lenses like fog of war on our perception, which prevents us from perceiving reality as it is.
It prevents us from having contact with unfiltered reality.
And so one of the most like basic, common examples of dissociation is that, well, first you have to understand that dissociation at its core, it's a survival mechanism. It's a mechanism within the brain and body that the brain uses to turn scary or challenging energies and experiences unconscious for the purpose of managing safety, for the purpose of living another day.
Um, and so one of the most common examples that they give in psychology is a basic example would be like if, when you're a kid. Say every time that you start to get angry as a kid, your dad gets really angry and he hits you, or he's like super mean to you, or he does something bad to you. What will then happen is the brain will take on the context that anger equals not safe.
Anger, anger equals fear, and then so anytime that there's an opportunity for anger to come up in the body. On a sort of subconscious or preverbal level, the brain will sense that, the brain will grab a hold of it and then the brain will dissociate from anger to prevent it from coming up, to prevent it from surfacing in order to manage the safety so that the kid doesn't get hit by their dad.
Um, but this is, this is only one example of dissociation. And we actually dissociate from all kinds of things our entire lives. And you have to understand that dissociation, it actually feels good. It doesn't feel bad to dissociate, in the short term. In the short term dissociation feels good. 'cause what it's doing is it's shutting off the scary energies.
It's kind of making you go numb. And then when that works, the body rings that as safe. It's like the body is like, okay, I get to live another day. So the body rings that as safe, and then it, it, it, it feels quite good. Like it feels good to go into dissociation. Um, but then long term it feels bad. And the reason that it feels bad is 'cause dissociation, it's based on suppression and repression. It's based on pushing things down. And so it doesn't get rid of the challenging energies.
It actually just pushes them down and makes them even worse. And then over time. It creates problems 'cause it creates energetic stagnation and suffering, which can result in all types of problems. It can result in health issues, relationship issues, money issues, really, uh, any, any type of issue whatsoever because it, it makes you unconscious and it makes you incapable of perceiving unfiltered reality.
Um, and so this is why dissociation is the shadow of transcendence because in the short term dissociation and transcendence, they kind of give very similar effects. Because when you transcend, that's when you're going to your higher nature. You're going to the isness, you're going to the being level, and then when you go to the being level.
It feels good. It, it feels like you reclaim energy, you're disconnecting your energy supply from the contraction. Um, and it feels good. But the difference is transcendence is actually based on allowing, transcendence isn't about dissociating from anger or some sort of challenging energy. 'Cause what transcend means,
it sounds like a complicated word, but it's really just in the sense that the screen of a movie, the screen transcends the movie, and so to transcend a challenging energy, it's really just to be the screen to the challenging energy.
Um,
and, but from there, it's not about trying to get rid of the challenging energy because whether you're the screen or you're the movie, the screen allows the movie to be exactly as it is. The screen doesn't try to suppress anything, whereas dissociation is trying to create the same effect of transcendence, but it's doing it within the confines of the lower
Speaker: three Koshas. It's trying to do it within the confines of the movie, and so the way that dissociation tries to create that effect is that is it blocks off the challenging emotion or the challenging energy, um, in order to numb it out in order to like, make it go away basically. And so it actually feels good to dissociate in the moment, but then again, long term it leads to problems.
It keeps your energy wound up and stuck and, um, not flowing, not progressing, basically. Um. And so what's happening in the spiritual community is that people are conflating dissociation with transcendence. Because short term, they seem to produce very similar effects, like they produce peace, euphoria, the sense of safety, the sense of okayness, the sense of
everything is okay as it is. Um, but then again, the difference is transcendence leads to energetic transformation and progression. Whereas dissociation leads to energetic stagnation and suffering. It leads to energies getting pushed down. Um, until they just stay pushed down and down and down until they just build up so much charge that they either explode out in some form of emotional outbursts, um, or if they're pushed down long enough and severely enough, they result in physical illness.
And this is why you have so many of these like great spiritual teachers that end up with things like incurable diseases or. Um, like they, they get into weird sexual scandals or they end up with PTSD or things like that because when you're dissociating from energies, the more suppressed that they are, they become increasingly perverted and gross.
And then they will do anything they can to feed out and to come out, and they will do it in the way which allows for maximum impact, maximum feeding. So that's why you'll have a spiritual teacher who 99% of the time, he seems like a great guy. He seems very peaceful and he's in that kind of, you know, peaceful, serene state.
But then secretly he's like cheating on his wife, or he is, he has PTSD or he has like chronic pain or things like that. It's because this energy, it, it needs to feed, if it's there, it needs to feed on suffering, it needs to feed on pain. Um, and so it will come out in any way that it can during the most vulnerable moments.
Um, and, and so the way that dissociation works is it is we, we tend to dissociate from what isn't deemed safe or acceptable within the confines of our context. And so a very, very common dissociation trap that spiritual seekers are falling into is they're taking on the context that thoughts are bad or thoughts are not good, that thoughts are counter to spirituality, or they take on the context that the sense of self is bad, that the sense of self is counter to spirituality.
And so what happens is the sense of self becomes no longer deemed safe or acceptable within the confines of that context. And so spiritual seekers will actually, they'll start to dissociate from their sense of self or they'll start to dissociate from negative thoughts or like a very common one is dissociating from anger.
We can take on the context that spirituality is all about being positive and love and light. So we take on a very subtle context, a very subtle belief system that negativity is bad, that anger is bad, that directness or aggression is bad, or that sexuality is bad, or something like that. But then when we take on that, that very subtle, limited context, we don't even realize what's happening in the moment.
But the more that context gets laid down and it gets reinforced by these subtle mental energies is we start to dissociate from anything which isn't deemed safe or acceptable within the confines of the context. And this is a very big problem. But I mean, again, this goes back to why you have all these guys that are they're, they're doing weird sex scandals, or they're having like mental health problems, which are the complete opposite direction of enlightenment of awakening.
It's because they have dissociated their theirselves to varying degrees. Um, and this energy, it's tucked deep deep deep down inside. And then it bursts out. It explodes out, and it explodes out during the most vulnerable moments because it has its own source of intelligence and it wants to feed. The, these negative energies
they really are like parasites. It's like parasitic consciousness that that wants to stay alive. That's the pain body. Um. And so, yeah, and the, the reason I understand this is 'cause I was doing this for years. Like I did this for like five years, or four or five years, and it f**** damn near ruined my life.
It took everything from me, like my life got worse and worse and worse. I was having health problems. I became super poor. A lot of my friendships went away. I lost a relationship, like every single area of my life went to shit. Because I was so dedicated um to truth and, and, and to higher frequencies, and to positivity and to making my way back to these transcendent divine states, that what happened was, without me even realizing it on a sort of non-verbal subconscious level, I began to take on all of these limited contexts.
Like a very big limited context that I took on was because I was so into manifesting and I had actually experienced massive manifestations back when I was authentically transmuting the energies and I was making real energetic progression before I had, um, fallen into the dissociation and like got stuck back in the seeking mode.
Um, but so I had taken on the limited context that negative frequencies are bad, that it's not good to have negative thoughts, and then I was so loyal to that. I was so devoted. I had so much determination to stay positive. I would never, ever, ever allow myself to think anything negative about anything.
All of my thoughts were positive. Um, and I had also refined my thoughts down to the point to where I wasn't even really having thoughts in the form of words. I, I just have thoughts on a very, very subtle, like pre-verbal level. Um, and I was able to get myself into these super high frequency states, like these super blissful states.
Um, but then what was happening was I wasn't manifesting anything. I wasn't manifesting any money or any, like like happy relationships or like good social interactions or like, like, um, solutions to my health problems. Everything just kept getting worse and worse and worse. And I was so confused because I was like, I'm being positive all the time.
Like, I could, I could go days only having positive thoughts. I mean, really I went years only having positive thoughts, but I was so determined. It's like. If, if I was, say I was trying to manifest a million dollars, I would literally have times where I would lock myself in my room for three days and I would only think one thought over and over again.
Like, I have a million dollars. I have a million dollars, like, and I would just focus on that. And everything about my energy was focused on that. And I would stir myself into these very like high like blissful feeling states, but then nothing would ever happen. My life would just keep getting worse and worse.
And the reason that it was getting worse and worse is because I was dissociating. I wasn't authentically transmuting the energies or transforming the energies. I was actually dissociating myself from the negative energies, and then I was taking on that context that only positive energies are allowed or good.
So I would channel so much energy into maintaining the positive frequencies, the positive context. And I would get so confused because I would be like, I'm all positive, I'm all love and light, but my entire life is going to shit. Like, everything is like getting darker and darker and it was so confusing.
But this is what is happening and this is happening to everybody in this community. It's happening with the sense of self too. People are, and it's, it's not just happening with negative thoughts like a big one that I see. Um. The Emerson non-duality crowd fall into, and I love Emerson. Emerson's the man.
So I'm not trying to put down Emerson, but he, he's kind of perpetuating this belief or making it seem at least that all thoughts are bad. And so what's happening is people are taking on a subtle, subconscious, pre-verbal context that thoughts are bad, and then they're becoming dissociated from their thoughts.
And this is f***** horrible. This is not good. Like this will make you a mess internally. If you were dissociating yourself from thoughts, you do not wanna be suppressing your thoughts. Like thoughts are good and thoughts are normal. This is not about getting rid of anything. This is about transforming unconsciousness to consciousness. This is about transforming negative thoughts to higher thoughts, to higher loving thoughts. But that doesn't happen by resisting thoughts or by labeling them a problem. That happens by transcending thoughts, which means allowing thoughts to be as they are and not resisting them.
And then that's when they authentically transform and transmute and they resolve.
Um, but so
yeah, dissociation it, it's the shadow of transcendence. And what can also happen is when you're very familiar with working with subtle energies and you're very familiar with keeping your focus on your thoughts and, and kind of the frequency level you can actually learn to dissociate at will. And that's what I was doing and that's what a lot of people are doing.
And they're dissociating at will. And then they're thinking, because again, dissociation, it feels good. They're thinking, oh, this feels good. So I'm in the, I'm in the enlightened state, I'm in the higher state, um, and this is how it's supposed to be. And then since the dissociation works, the body rings that as safe
it gives you that dopamine and euphoria. Then it seems like you're doing the right thing. But then again, what happens when you do that is it just, it creates suffering. It creates health problems, it creates energy problems, it creates e energetic stagnation. Um, and then the more and more we do it, the worse everything gets, the harder life gets and the more confusing everything gets.
But you have to understand spirituality is about making your life better. Non-duality should be making your life better. Nothing should be getting worse from this because again, this is about transforming the darkness to the light. It's about going from contraction to expansion. And lightness and expansion
is better. It makes your life better. Like this should be solving all of your problems and like making you feel better. This should not be making you feel disconnected from others. This should not be like leading to money problems or health problems or anything like that. Like this should be making you more authentic.
You should be more authentically you through this. Um, and this relates to the no self thing. Like
you have to understand that recognizing that there's no self is not about getting rid of the sense of self. It's about transcending the sense of self and when you transcend the sense of self that doesn't get rid of the sense of self. It just means that you're being the isness, you're being the screen, which includes the sense of self.
It's like when you go from being the movie to being the screen, the movie doesn't disappear. The movie character doesn't disappear. The everything is still fully there. The only difference is everything is the screen. Everything is the isness. And from that level, you could say there's no self because it's all just the isness.
But that doesn't mean that the sense of self is gone. This isn't about dissociating or shutting off the sense of self. What can happen sometimes is when you are living from that transcendent screen level. You can have moments where even the most subtle, subtle layers of mental context, of boundaries of separation, they start to kind of dissolve and lift away, and that's when you can experience unity consciousness where it does start to feel like you are the trees or you are the snow, or you are the sky, or you are the birds, or you are all the things around you.
Um, but that's not something that you need to be reaching for. That can just happen effortlessly and smoothly on its own when it's supposed to. Like, you don't need to be trying to get rid of the sense of self, like it's about being the isness, even to the sense of self. And from there when you experience unity
it will be very blissful and radiant and it won't feel like numbing or floaty or like anything like that. It actually feels very, very, very grounded because what it is is, what unity consciousness is. Unity consciousness is what remains of reality when you take away all the context, you take away all the mental programming, all the mental structure, because
the mental structures are what create the sense of separation. They create the sense of contraction, and they also create dissociation. So being in unity, really it's about perceiving reality, unfiltered. It's about perceiving the present moment without any layers of mental framing or context or mental perspective or angles of thinking or, or any dissociation.
And this dissociation thing. Dissociation again. It prevents you from perceiving reality unfiltered. It's like fog, it's like hazes. It's like barriers and lenses and filters that your brain is putting between you and the stuff around you. And this is also why sometimes. You know, like when you get into a higher spiritual state, you get into some type of higher state, you may find yourself rereading like a book that you hadn't like read in a while.
And from this higher spiritual state, it's like you're seeing things that you never saw before. It's like you're reading the book in a completely new way. Like it's like, how did I not see this before? And the reason that you couldn't see it before is 'cause you were dissociated and your brain was filtering it out because the shadow didn't want you to see it because the shadow wants to stay alive.
Um, but as you get to higher levels of consciousness, more awake, more light levels of consciousness, you're perceiving reality unfiltered, and then that's when you see those things that you never saw before, that were always there because they were being filtered out by the dissociation. Um, by those, those lenses of distortion, it's like fog of war.
Um, but.
So, yeah. Um nothing about non-duality or spirituality should feel like floaty or like numb or like hazy or anything like that. The deeper you go into spiritual states, you should be feeling very, very grounded and in touch with everything that's in front of you. It's, it's not about like contorting yourself into these dissociated states where you just like have no thoughts or something like, I mean, you can get to transcendent states where you're not having thoughts like, I have that all the time, but there's a big difference when that's happening from a transcendent awakened spiritual state versus when it's happening from dissociation. You have to be very careful with dissociation. Like when you take on some sort of limited or fear-based context, you will dissociate from everything which is outside of that context. And the context are subtler than words.
It's like you don't have to be telling yourself in the form of words that you think that all thoughts are bad for that context to be there. That context is, it's a sort of mental programming. It's like a subconscious program which is running in the background. Um, and then it will, it will be, it serves as a filter or a lens between you and reality, and it will prevent you from seeing things it will keep you dissociated.
And then so you'll be thinking like, oh, I don't have any thoughts. But you actually are having thoughts, you're having lots of thoughts. You're just totally unconscious to them because you're super dissociated, basically. Um, but so yeah, that's really important to understand. Like what at the most core level
spiritual progression is, it's about, again, it's about perceiving reality unfiltered with no dissociation, with no lenses of distortion, no filters between you and what's actually happening. Um, and yeah, it's not about saying like the relative doesn't matter. 'cause that's another one. A lot of people take on that context of like, oh, the relative world, it's all illusory, it's all fake
and so I just, I shouldn't care about it. But if you take on that context, you will become super dissociated and you'll, you'll get health problems or you'll get various little things will come up. Like you'll have all kinds of problems. Um, and really, but what the suffering is doing, the higher kind of graceful side of the suffering is it's your system screaming at you that something is not right, that you've taken a wrong path, that something is not how it should be.
Like spiritual progression should be making everything better. It should be making you smarter, more alive, more social, more in touch with others. Everything should be good from this. Nothing should be getting worse. Like you should have a great sex life. Like you should have a lot of money. You should have a lot of friends. You should have all of the great things, or maybe you don't want to have those things.
If you authentically don't want to do those things, that's fine, but if you authentically don't want those things, you won't have any question of that. You'll just be fully authentic and just, you'll be grounded and in touch with who you really are. You won't be taking on, you won't be just latching onto various little lines that you've heard teachers say, where you hear them say that you shouldn't have thoughts or you shouldn't have the sense of self or, or this or that.
Um, but so yeah.
Dissociation is, it's a big problem. Um, and it's very easy to conflate with transcendence 'cause it seems, it seems to create the same sort of effect. But transcendence leads to transformation. It leads to energetic progression. 'cause when you transcend the movie you're not getting rid of the movie, but what happens is you disconnect your energy supply from the contractions, and then your infinite nature is able to progress and advance the movie in the best way possible.
Um, whereas again, when you dissociate, it seems like everything is getting better. It seems like, oh, I feel better in this moment, but then that's when you just keep regressing like you keep you, you keep or you keep just having other problems, like you're not having that real energetic progression and transformation.
You're just continuing to get stuck in lower and lower states. Um, but yeah, spirituality, it should be very, very grounded. It should not be separating you from the relative world. It should be enabling you to perceive the relative world, unfiltered undistorted, so that you can see what really is, you can see things without these lenses of distortion, without this fogginess and, and without this, this heaviness that prevents you
from, from having full contact with reality. Um, so yeah, if you made it to the end of this video, kudos to you because it's a tough thing and the body does not want us to hear this, like the, the brain will do everything it can to prevent people from taking in this information because the collective shadow, it wants people to associate transcendence with dissociation because it perpetuates the shadow and then it's so dangerous because we think we're doing the right thing.
It seems like we're doing the light and loving thing. But we're actually just feeding the shadow. We're actually just feeding the darkness. Um, instead of transforming to the light, instead of transforming the unconscious to the conscious. And that happens from the isness, from allowing the present moment to be as it is.
It's not about saying no to anything. It's about allowing everything to be as it is, being with the isness of life. Allowing emotions to come up, allowing negative thoughts to come up if they come up, allowing everything to be as it is, and then being the isness to that, not labeling it a problem, just being that transcendent layer, which allows all, and that's when the authentic transformation happens.
Um, and that's why also when you're actually living this, when you're actually transcending the self. When you're being the true no self which is that screen level, you actually become more you. You don't become less you, you actually become more uniquely, authentically you. You fill your structure even more.
And you play the relative even more. You're both 100% man and 100% God. Um, and so authenticity is a very good word to tune into. Like this should be making you more authentic. 'cause what you authentically are is your true nature, is your higher nature is your higher self. And the only way to transmute negative things like shadows and things
is to be authentic to those, to not be labeling those a problem, to be the isness to those. And that's when they authentically transmute and you become more and more authentic. You actually become more grounded in the relative. You become more you. None of this is about getting rid of the character.
This is about freeing the character. This is about taking away the lenses of falsity, the lenses of distortion, the filters of darkness and haziness which separate us from perceiving what is. From perceiving what's in front of us. Um, and as those drop away, it is the most beautiful thing there is. It is the most amazing thing there is.
Um, and that can just keep happening and happening. It's like I said there's no real end to the integration or the unfoldment. Like what happens is you just, you keep becoming aware of subtler and subtler and subtler layers of dissociation and unconsciousness, and then once you see them. When you see the unconsciousness or you see the fear-based context, you can be the isness even to that.
And then that's how it starts to unwind and heal and transmute and go from the darkness to the light. That's how you restore the energy. Um, and that's why also what spiritual integration is, what it really means to, to integrate realization, or to integrate your infinite nature. It's not even so much that you're integrating your infinite nature into anything.
'cause ultimately everything already is your infinite nature. What the integration is. Is, it's the disintegration of the fear-based contexts. It's the disintegration of the mental structures, which are based on lack and resistance and fear, which create disintegration. Like to be disintegrated, to be not integrated,
it's to have a lot of fear-based, limited lack based context within your mental structure, which is filtering your perception of reality, and it's creating dissociation and lack of consciousness. But as you become spiritually integrated, as you awake, as you transform the darkness to the light, you're dissolving these barriers of disintegration.
And then you're becoming more integrated. You're becoming more in touch with what is, with the, the reality of the relative, of the relative present moment. And then you are both 100% man and 100% God. You're still fully involved in the world. It's to be in the world but not of the world. It's to be the screen
even while the movie is playing, it's not about getting rid of the movie or saying, oh, it's all illusion, so it doesn't matter. It's actually about enjoying the movie even more. It's enjoying the movie from freedom, from liberation, from your infinite nature, and it's about living your dream life, like you should be living your dream life from this when you actually live this.
Like I have lived out all of my childhood dreams. Like the more I live this, everything just falls into place. I experience the most amazing miracles, the most amazing synchronicities. Like, it's unbelievable what I've gotten out of this. Um, but that only happens through authentic transformation, through transforming the energies, transforming the contracted energies to expansion
by holding them in the light of consciousness, holding them in the light of isness, being the isness, even to the present moment and not succumbing to that urge to do what the brain and the lower mind and the fear-based energies tell you to do, because the fear-based energies. They're attached to your own brain and they want to survive, and nothing knows you better than your own brain.
And so since it's connected to your own brain, it will always tell you exactly what you're most likely to believe to get you to latch on to the, the, the, the fear-based energy and to keep you perpetuating the dissociation and the contraction. And that's why this is about transcending the mind. It's about, it's about relinquishing the mind, because if you do everything that the mind tells you, the mind
is largely run by the shadow, like the mind will largely the mar The mind is susceptible to the influence of the shadow of the parasitic energies. Um, and so if you only listen to your mind, you'll only be listening to the shadow largely, and that will just pull you into deeper and deeper states of suffering and stagnation and apathy and all the negative things.
But again. This is not about getting rid of the mind. You don't want to take on a fear-based context that the mind is bad. This should actually be empowering and enlivening your mind. This should be making you smarter. It should make your mind sharper, and it, what it really does is it enables you to use the mind rather than being used by the mind. Most people are being used by the mind, but what you want to do is you want to be able to use the mind on your own accord, at your own will, and to use it for higher loving, productive purposes, rather than just being strung along by the serpent, by the fear-based energy, um, by the wheel of karma, like the, the cycles of reactivity and repeating patterns.
Um, but so, yeah, that is my message on dissociation and transcendence and it's a big one. It's a, I was in it for years and it is such a tricky, elusive thing, but like your life should be getting better from this. This should make your life better. You should feel things transmuting and transforming. And you should be becoming more conscious.
You should actually be more in touch with the relative world. This shouldn't be making you like unconscious to the relative world or to your family or to your relationships, or to money or anything. It should make you more in touch with what is more in touch with what's in front of you. Um, because you're more conscious, you're less dissociated, you're more aware.
And so yeah, that's my message for today.